Property price values are tipped to soar in Ryde, after it was revealed by Ryde City Council that Indians had been using parks as open air toilets.
Property lobby group Sydney YIMBY has tipped values to rise over 20% as the ancient Indian practice of street shitting becomes normalised in the area, adding much needed diversity and vibrancy to the area according to a local spokesman.
“These clean, family friendly community areas are stale and boring so it’s great we’ve added some much-needed open air defecation to Sydney’s north side. We’re hopeful the Indian community will also help increase the sexual assault rate in the area,” MP Jordan Lane said.
“We’ve seen how vibrant the newly introduced practice of shitting on beaches in Canada has been by the Indian migrants there, we’re hoping to capitalise on some of that growth market.”
“We’re also planning to add ‘Sati Night’ once a month in the park, and are procuring land for a funeral pyre. This should at least drive property values up another 15% by the end of this year.”
However, Ryde City Council has been referred to the Human Rights Commission for erecting signs urging people not to shit in the parks due to being deemed racist against Indians.