The Morrison government is understood to be in talks to introduce a new type of visa to EZFKA, that would allow migrants with no legal case but can run a convincing sob story, to stay in the country.
The idea has been floated in the wake of the Tamil family saga, currently being saturated across all media platforms for some reason. Morrison said the new initiative was a sign of his party “moving further to the left but slightly slower than the left to not arouse too much suspicion.”
“The Tamil family have shown that no matter if you rock up to the country illegally, have half a dozen court appeals rejected at the tax payers expense, return to the country you’re claiming persecution from several times and have some anchor babies to exploit as pawns, you should have an entitlement to stay,” Morrison said.
“Aussies are famous for a sense of entitlement and the solution to that is to import more of it from different cultures. Plus it will help me capture the upper middle class white woman vote who have been virtue signalling ad bloody nauseum about this on social media.”
Fairfax and SBS have also both welcomed the decision, as they battle complaints from journalists claiming fatigue from writing daily sob stories for “poor Indians who left their kids offshore.” “We’ve been running full steam ahead with that initiative and it’s just gotten to some of our journos. This is a welcome relief, but this is also a great opportunity for EZFKA going forward to open our borders again,” a spokesman for The Sydney Morning Herald said.