EZFKA to lockdown for a month after Hubble space telescope detects coronavirus near Alpha Centauri

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has ordered EZFKA into lockdown for a month, after NASA stated the Hubble space telescope had detected what appeared to be coronavirus on Proxima Centauri.

The planet, located within the Alpha Centauri star system, displayed what appeared to be COVID fragments, sparking serious concerns among National Cabinet.

Morrison said that Australians couldn’t afford to be complacent and that lockdown was the only sure way of beating the virus.

“The accusations that lockdowns are purely a political and economic tool to beat the middle class into submission are just dead wrong,” Morrison said.

“We have a very serious threat to Australia’s biosecurity here, and it is important that we stop the spread.”

“I am aware that supra-luminal travel is not yet possible for us, but we have to factor in the fact that 4.37 light years is not that far away at all.”

This is the 2nd time Morrison has locked Australia down due to extra-terrestrial COVID threats. A 5-day snap lockdown was called by Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews after the Mars Perseverance Rover located COVID fragments on Mars, shortly after landing.

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Agent 47

Fucking LOLOLOLOL

They would do it too.

Peachy

Covid panic has been a superb pretext under which to transfer huge amounts of private debt onto the EZFKA public balance sheet. Banks were freaking giddy.

This was needed in order to make room for another round of leveraging to allow the EZFKA winners to get ahead!

Another big lockdown would be another major gift to the EZFKA winners.

stagmal

australians have been the world’s biggest babies on this virus. there’s this weird frozen in time vibe in this country re: our attitude to covid like we’re still psychologically frozen around march-april 2020 while most of the world has moved on (at least the people have, not the govts). go look at the abc news comment section on fb and these people still believe its this ultra deadly affliction that bumps off everyone that catches it including 20 year olds. it’s seriously pathetic.

stagmal

macro sold out their contrarian soul for it too. im not sure whether they really bought into the doomerism or were just betting on it causing their predictions to come true but the comment section and articles there are full of covid scaredycats, i remember a lot of the things people were saying like “well why dont YOU go get covid if you think its not such a big deal and come back after and tell us all about it”. wuss central.

Agent 47

This.

Full of absolute pussies that would dogpile on dissenting opinions. The ones begging for the vaccine are absolute handbags too.

ThePensum

I do remember seeing some comments like “this is going to cause the great reset in Australia” so it seemed like there were at least some out there who liked the lockdowns for your first reason.

and then I remember thinking — yeah great, throwing a lot of people under the bus for your predictions to come true, nice.

not sure about the MB experts. they probably liked it as, with all media outlets, their traffic probably increased.

Peachy

This theme of pinning “reset” hopes on the virus is probably deserving of a post or two..,

Will need to remember.

stagmal

please peachy write it!!

Chinese Astroturfer

12 months ago it was thought the IFR was 3%, hospitals were hooking people up to ventilators so that they would choke to death, we didn’t know how to treat and didn’t really know how to prevent it. Locking down made complete sense because he had the opportunity to do so without much cost.

Now it’s clear the IFR is a fraction of that with mostly the old and morbidly unhealthy affected, we can treat it, have steps in place avoid it, places like the US, Mexico, Brazil life are seemingly normal with people taking relatively few precautions.

I’d travel overseas right now without any fear. Only issue is having adequate travel insurance in the event I do get sick, but I always have adequate cover.

bjw678

Only issue is having adequate travel insurance

Not sure this is possible I believe a lot/all have a specific exclusion clause for covid, along with the terrorist one post 9/11.

Last edited 4 months ago by bjw678
Djenka

@ Stagnal

There are shades of rainbow between the position you’re peddling and the opposite end of the spectrum.
Also, there is a clear distinction between logical and age proven method for containment of contagious diseases (the banned Q word) and then there is “she’ll be right mate”.
Truth, as much as a projection of personal views, never lies in extremities.
Should Aus have gone into 3 week full lockout early last year and took the Q-tin seriously so it could not escape, being an island nation in the anus of the world would make Aus live normal life ever since.
90% of problems we had so far is cock-ups and mismanagement that we readily paste onto 3rd world countries.

Q-tin works and it will always work.
Silliness coupled to anything (including also to ‘let-it-rip’ opinion) flucks it up well.

Last edited 4 months ago by DjenkA
Peachy

For the record, I don’t think that the word “quarantine” is banned here.

Djenka

My apology, I never wanted to imply a local ban of the word, it was a reference to quarantine “deniers” 😉

Last edited 4 months ago by DjenkA
Stewie

I genuinely LOL !