Study finds ignoring Australian mainstream media permanently cures COVID

A breakthrough study has found that turning off Australian mainstream media outlets permanently solves COVID and has called for the lifting of all restrictions immediately.

The study, conducted by the Institute of Non-Globalist Shitcunts, found that turning off Australian TV, radio and not reading corporate newspapers has a 100% efficacy on symptoms of COVID and that Australia could get back to pre-March 2020 tomorrow if the majority switched off.

The ABC was most notably concerned.

“Saturating the plebs with endless fear porn, videos of people in intensive care units with no context, daily case announcements and similar has no effect when people are ignoring us,” a spokesman for the ABC said.

“Even the controlled opposition fake conservatives at Sky News Australia are having a hard time pushing the vaccine and lockdowns.”

Prime Minister Scott Morrison stated he acknowledged the study’s findings but would push on with the World Economic Forum directives, “until the cyber pandemic arrives.”

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Agent 47

Out with the pandemic

In with the cyber pandemic

T

Today is the day that Cyber Polygon, the cyber pandemic simulation organised by Klaus Schwab WEF is due to begin.

Last edited 3 months ago by T
Sacha

Are you saying they are going to show us again what is going to happen in a couple of months?

These elite are so elite they can predict the future.

Stewie

Honestly – this is true. I’ve fully banned watching the news, have zero inclination to turn it on. The missus still comes in and occasionally watches, or attempts to watch SBS, which is something that I do find genuinely triggering. After a while you honestly feel better not having the constant fear mongering rammed down your throat.

Ramjet

Like Stewie, news is not watched in our household. I have closed all social media except LinkedIn. Given social and mainstream media rely on eyeballs and hence only bad news or some fear porn will generate this.
All this media has generated the expectation that we must have zero risk from getting Covid, so state premiers will be pushing 99.9% vaccination rates before opening up. I am expecting our current modus operandi to continue for another year.