Brett Sutton reveals “COVID Strain Name Generator” supercomputer used for determining arbitrary lockdowns

Exclusive: Victorian CMO Brett Sutton has given reporters an exclusive look at the supercomputer responsible for generating superfluous reasoning for ongoing lockdowns in Victoria.

The supercomputer, alluded to by Premier Daniel Andrews last year and developed in conjunction with the CCP, generates random names for COVID strains and calculates just how many cases are needed to scare the population back into their homes.

Sutton has stated that the generator has been leading the fight against COVID in Victoria and is the reason no-one can see the health advice due to it’s origins in China.

“It’s classified and we don’t know what bullshit it’s going to come up with day to day so it’s perfect for Victorian Government,” Sutton said.

“Look, the population and in particular, small business, isn’t being crushed into submission fast enough. We needed a way to push that along as fast as possible and get people taking our experimental jabs.”

“It also keeps the focus off of the questions about Daniel Andrews and Victoria Police beating the shit out of protestors.”

Sutton said it will continue to be used for extending lockdowns and further “dissent crushing measures” in Melbourne this year.

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Is it the same supercomputer that can process over nine tax returns per day?


I think it’s the same one the FIRB use that never rejects a foreign property buyer!


this could be real lol


This is all real, it is just being announced early!


think this lockdown is finally coming to an end, imagine what would happen if they end it early, covid breaks out again and melbs enters its fifth fucking lockdown lol

how can this be the 4TH TIME and resistance to it is still so minimal it only amounts to a tiny number of antivaxxers


By all reports, most proles are ignoring the lockdown – roads are full off traffic, etc.

The only ones not ignoring it are the little shops, because it’s obvious if they’re open in spite of the decree.


Avi is a shit stirrer, but he does some good work.

Agent 47

He’s an Israel First grifter that needs to be booted back to Tel Aviv.

Can’t stand the bloke but stopped clock and all that.