Exclusive: Victorian CMO Brett Sutton has given reporters an exclusive look at the supercomputer responsible for generating superfluous reasoning for ongoing lockdowns in Victoria.
The supercomputer, alluded to by Premier Daniel Andrews last year and developed in conjunction with the CCP, generates random names for COVID strains and calculates just how many cases are needed to scare the population back into their homes.
Sutton has stated that the generator has been leading the fight against COVID in Victoria and is the reason no-one can see the health advice due to it’s origins in China.
“It’s classified and we don’t know what bullshit it’s going to come up with day to day so it’s perfect for Victorian Government,” Sutton said.
“Look, the population and in particular, small business, isn’t being crushed into submission fast enough. We needed a way to push that along as fast as possible and get people taking our experimental jabs.”
“It also keeps the focus off of the questions about Daniel Andrews and Victoria Police beating the shit out of protestors.”
Sutton said it will continue to be used for extending lockdowns and further “dissent crushing measures” in Melbourne this year.