Property prices in Sydney have exploded to all-time highs after China launched a nuclear first strike on the east coast EZFKA city.
After both countries traded firey rhetoric all week, China finally called Australia’s bluff and launched a first strike against Australia’s most populous city. Minutes after the ICBM impacted downtown Sydney, Domain recorded a 150% increase in property prices across the board.
“It’s hot property! Get in quick now before you miss out. They aren’t making anymore land, they’re just levelling existing land and giving us more opportunities to rebuild,” Corelogic CEO Tim Lawless said.
Meriton CEO Harry Trigaboff also lauded this as a “great opportunity to build back better with plans for more shitty high-rise apartments across the now smoking crater where the Sydney CBD used to be.”
Public concerns from survivors about radiation have been allayed by the NSW state government, which has stated it plans to raise a ‘radiation tax’ which will be implemented for the half-life of at least 5000 years to bring the state back into the black.