Victorian Commonwealth Games cancelled after realisation no athletes will be left alive to compete by then

Victoria’s bid to host the 2026 Commonwealth Games has been knocked on the head five minutes after it was announced, after realising no athletes will be alive to compete in it.

Even free aspirin and defibrillators wasn’t enough to persuade the Commonwealth Games committee, who promptly decided to terminate the contract and save tax payers and hospitals the trouble.

“It was always going to be a hard sell anyway after we accepted that no-one actually gives a fuck about the Comm Games other than property developers who use it as an economic vehicle,” Premier Daniel Andrews said.

“There were also concerns that no-one will be left in the state except an underclass of Indian migrants but that doesn’t matter now anyway.”

It is also understood that Brisbane’s Olympic games is also in doubt.

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Agent 47

They should have a clause allowing defibrillators so if you have a heart attack during the race you can be revived and finish it.

Reus's Large MEMBER

Would that count as performance enhancing then or not

Reus's Large MEMBER

I do love how they “celebrate” getting the games when no one else wanted them anyway, so they are celebrating holding the turd in reality.

Aussie Soy Boy

They should have let it die off.

Max Payne

All the athletes planning to seek asylum will be disappointed 😛. The games are just more bread and circuses for the sportsball crowd to keep them occupied.

Aussie Soy Boy

Amazing how they went from arresting people for being on a park bench 6 months ago to 400k plus at the F1 over the weekend with no masks.

Reus's Large MEMBER

It’s all about trusting the science and medical advice from the CHO /sarc

Last edited 5 months ago by Reus's Large MEMBER