Xi promises to delete blackmail tapes of Daniel Andrews if permanent pandemic legislation passes upper house

CCP President Xi Jinping has vowed to delete blackmail tapes of Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews and CHO Brett Sutton, should the permanent pandemic legislation pass the upper house.

The tapes, which apparently are of Daniel Andrews in many compromising positions on his last trip to China, will be deleted if the legislation passes.

“Premier Andrews has been a great servant of the CCP and this will atone for the Belt and Road mistake he made,” Xi said.

“I would like to remind the rest of the National Cabinet what is at stake here, especially Mark McGowan.”

Similar tapes of crossbenchers Andy Meddick and Fiona Patten as well as the Rockefeller Institute’s Jane Halton will also reportedly be deleted.